We are in process of moving to Chicago area. Last weekend + Monday and Tuesday, we go up there to get a bunch of stuff done. Scheduled down to the minute. One of the chores was to get a safe deposit box. I call 2-3 banks, make sure they have boxes, and decide to choose the one closest to our house.
We stop in, with all of our stuff, and our daughter in the car seat carrier, parked optimistically in a 20 minute spot. How long could it take, right?
We tell the guy we want a box. He says, no problem, do we want to open a checking account. I say no thanks, we just need the box, but give us the info, we will consider it when we close the Ohio account.
He does literally an hour of paperwork, background check, copying ID's, signature cards, getting addresses. Probably, it was more paperwork then when I got my work permit for Belgium.
So then, we spend another 30 minutes selecting the box, finding the keys, choosing the location, finding new keys because the paperwork for this box is missing and that box is wrong, and blah, blah blah.
But after 90 minutes and several feeds of the meter, our daughter is still asleep and we have keys to a box that works, a signed contract, and the bank has our check.
So, we put all of our stuff (my grandpa's coin, her grandma's jewelry, our joint titles to the cars we drive, and lots of juicy secret stuff I can't tell you about -- like a canadian $2 bill from when they changed to the $2 coin) into the box, and we lock it up and we grab all of our stuff to leave.
And the guy says, "wait, I need to check just one more thing"...
And the manager comes over, and says: "You can't rent a box if you don't have an account here."
I am stunned, and flabbergasted. And dehydrated, scared of the Evanston parking patrol, too hot, hungry, late and I need to PEE LIKE A HORSE.
And I say, I've got the key, you've got my check. My stuff is in the box, and I have a signed contract. What do you mean exactly -- it appears to me that I have in fact rented the box.
And she says, we did not process your check yet and so the contract is not final. But would you like to open a checking account?
Me: Why on earth would I want to open a checking account with you when you clearly have absolutely no clue what you are doing? Do you have any idea how valuable this particular hour and a half was compared to all of the other wastable 90 minute blocks of my life -- you are seriously messing with me right now.
And I am sort of yelling and making a scene, but still hungry and have to pee, and I have not yet yelled any of the words starting with "F" or called her any names, BUT...
She is the manager and I am the customer, and so when she says: Blah, blah I am really sorry, sir, etc, I temporarily forget that possession is 9/10th and I have the key and all my sh*t is in the box, and I CAVE IN, and I LET THEM MAKE ME TAKE THE STUFF OUT, and I go eat lunch like a meek and civilized person, and get another box, the next day, in 20 minutes at a nice bank (National City) located nowhere convenient.
But, I will post this story wherever I can. And I am totally sending her an invoice, and when she does not pay it, I will refer it to a collection agency, so that someone else will get paid to waste her time. So there.
And if you too, are a fan of such great customer service, you can reach these fine people at:
Charter One
525 Main Street
Evanston IL 60202
847 869 4500
Raquel Henriquez -- Branch Manager
Bayo Shokunbi -- Personal Banker
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